This is a guest post from Carrie over at Carrie This Home! Carrie is a stay at home mom with two little kids! I first met Carrie at a friend’s wedding and came to find out she grew up not to far from me in the suburbs of Chicago (small world)! She is a wonderful and Godly woman! I love seeing her on Sundays at church and love talking all things blogging with her. She is definitely one of those woman you look up to and hope that one day when my husband I have kids that I can have half of her patience and kindness that she has! Today she is sharing her Godly wisdom and some tricks that have helped her in her marriage!
Carrie’s Story
The Hubby and I have been married for over 10 years and we met in college. Before getting married, we first made sure that our life goals and aspirations were on the same page. We both are following Jesus the best we know how and this is the biggest priority for the both of us. We both eventually wanted to have kids, but not right away. We both wanted to live in the area where we went to college. Beyond that we weren’t too sure what our life would look like. But we knew we wanted to spend it together.
So we got married and here we are ten years and two kids later!
No One Has The Perfect Marriage
Before I go on I think it’s important to recognize an important fact: no marriage is perfect. Don’t think that anyone has the perfect marriage because it simply doesn’t exist. Every marriage has strengths and weaknesses. Marriage is between two imperfect people so there will be PLENTY of problems that will come up. It’s how those problems are dealt with that makes the difference.
Little Tips for A Better Marriage
Serve one another. The most important tip I can give comes from Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Put your spouses needs ahead of your own. Put off selfishness and seek to serve your spouse. Your spouse should do the same for you. When two people come together serving each other’s needs amazing things happen.
Share interests. My hubby and I are very different so most of our interests are also different. I love to blog, my hubby loves to ride his bike. Hubby loves to watch Rocky movies. I’d rather watch a romantic comedy. We find ways to support each other’s interests, even if it’s not as “interesting” to the other. Blogging is not the Hubby’s favorite thing to do but he shares my interest by encouraging me with blog posts and helping me with grammatical corrections. The Hubby loves cycling and talking about bike parts. Those two interests are not my favorite things to do. I’ve learned a couple of things about bike components because it’s something the Hubby LOVES to talk about and then we can talk about it together.
Sometimes our interests are the same, like with photography. We both love to take pictures and mess around with new settings on our camera. It’s fun to share an interest that we both enjoy equally.
Invest time into each other. Play games, go for walks, workout together, go on regular dates. A couple of years ago we noticed in the evenings when we have time together we would just veg in front of the TV. We were acting more like roommates instead of spouses. We both had to put a priority on spending active time together, not just co-existing. In trying to change that, we discovered game called Monopoly Deal and we both LOVE to play it. After the kids go to bed we put on some music, play the game and chat with each other. It’s a great time to connect with each other.
Enjoy things together. One thing we love to do together is watch Top Gear (the UK version of course!) We both LOVE it. Yes I am a wife who loves to watch Top Gear. Why? I have a general interest in cars but it’s not as much as my hubby. I LOVE the show for the cinematography (cinematography is the way they capture scenes). The lenses and high-speed cameras they use to capture a car going over 200 mph without blurring amazes me. We often pause the show to comment on the amazing feats a car is accomplishing or an amazing shot that we wish we could replicate with our camera.
Don’t harbor bitterness or anger. This is one of my biggest struggles. When I get upset, I have a bad habit of keeping score of all the wrongs that person has done to me and I want to hold on to bitterness. Ephesians 4:26-27 says “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” When I choose to talk to my hubby about what’s bothering me focusing on forgiving and finding a solution to the problem, I’m much less likely to harbor bitterness. After all, hasn’t Jesus forgiven me of all the junk I’ve done?
Support their God-given purpose. Right now my God-given purpose is to stay home and raise our two kids and help other women close to me. My husband supports my purpose by providing for our family, giving me time to invest in other women, and giving me a break from mommy duties when I need it.
My hubby’s purpose now is to teach on multiple levels. He teaches high school science and also teaches Sunday school. He’s also built to encourage others. I help support him in his purpose by helping him grade papers at night and giving him time with friends that need support. We often have people over for dinner as a way to bless and encourage them. This is a great example of God using our gifts together and it’s really fulfilling for both of us.
I hope this post was helpful to you! What was the best marriage advice someone gave to you?
Just in case you missed it…
Building a Better Marriage Part 1
Part 2: The Honest Truth
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I am loving this series. The best marriage advice that has been given to me was not to keep score of who does more. My Grandma said who ever is tallying it up will always be doing more than the other. For us, I know we both do a lot and try to help the other where we can to make life easier for the other.
Amy recently posted…Meals for Week of 28 Jan
That’s so true! It’s not a competition and should just be doing stuff to help because you want to be a good servant to one another! My husband and I like to work as a team to get stuff done more efficiently and than its easier on both of us!
Great post Carrie. Really good advice.
Best advice? There were two great pieces my father gave me. First, before you get married, the woman should sit down and write what top 5 things she thinks makes a good wife and what the top five things she thinks makes a good husband. The man should do the same. They should then compare what each wrote—if there is not a lot of overlap, a lot of talking needs to be done before the wedding. (If, for example, the woman thinks a good husband is a good provider, wants to have five children, hopes to retire to a gofl course community…but he says a good husband is someone who supports the wife in her career, that no one should have more than two children, and that we wants to retire to a small hobby farm—well, then, there are going to be problems in that marriage very shortly.
The second piece of advice was to hang around with other couples who value marriage and show it. It encourges behaviors that make for a strong marriage.
Thanks so much for letting me guest post, Amy! I’m glad to see this was helpful to others!
Carrie from Carrie This Home recently posted…Frugal Crafty Home Blog Hop
SO happy to have you!!! We will have to do this again!